Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
