how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize