i just wanna soil my oats bro
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
