porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
