even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
