She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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