Soap is not a condiment
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
