So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
