you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
