Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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