I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize