I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
