i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
