What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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