Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize