She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
