I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
