Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
