I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
