There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize