Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
