drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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