you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
