There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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