i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize