Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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