yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Help. Why am I so naked?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
