he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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