Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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