You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
