she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
