Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.

Fav 6 1721 746
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(813): View more from Florida

i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

Fav 14 2229 845
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(650): View more from California

Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

Fav 40 2127 4439
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(313): View more from Michigan

There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?

Fav 3 3083 1182
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(646): View more from New York

Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.

Fav 4 2236 850
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.

Fav 7 2629 940
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(706): View more from Georgia

He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.

Fav 15 2449 874
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(847): View more from Illinois

As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.

Fav 0 767 483
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(509): View more from Washington

Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.

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