Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
