he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
