I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
