My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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