Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
