in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
