so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
