dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
