someone get that fucking seahorse.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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