ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
