It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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