No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
