We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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