You're my little dorito
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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