New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
