the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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