Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
