you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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