Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
