im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
