How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
