i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
