I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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