Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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