that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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