3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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