NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I deserve this hangover.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
