it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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