Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
