i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
