I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
