hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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