Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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