'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize