why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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