we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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