I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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