I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
