and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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