Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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