i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize